


The Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Movie 4: The Reckoning Apocalyptic ExtravagANXZAR (thisS IS A disasTER MoViEE)

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remix of <a href="http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/18819.html?thread=3284867#cmt3284867">oxfordroulette's fic</a>, originally for the prompt: Remember that time alpha!Rose and alpha!Dave went to a big premiere event together, except Rose was the one in the tux, and Dave was the one in the dress?</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 7)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Movie 4: The Reckoning Apocalyptic ExtravagANXZAR (thisS IS A disasTER MoViEE)

The title sits on the screen, slowly rotating.

_The Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff Movie 4: The Reckoning Apocalyptic ExtravagANXZAR (thisS IS A disasTER MoViEE)_

After a solid two minutes of swelling music, the text finally changes.

_Written by Dave Strider and David Strider._

And then immediately changes back to the title. The audience groans. Just like he said they would.

The music cuts out. The title spins for another minute. Groans subside into quiet unease. You haven’t seen it yet, but Dave told you to count to twelve.

Right on cue, a voice booms, “in a world...” The extremely poor quality audio cracks and pops. Even you jump, and you knew something was coming.

******

“It’s all comping to an end, dude,” Owen Wilson overacts. “Nown we’re all gonna die in here. In this world. In this prison of a world where we livt our lives.” The music swells. “This world. This priston. Maybe in needs to end.”

Donald Glover - Geromy - smacks him in the face. “What would Sweent Bro say?!” A caption reads, no actors were not hurt in the macking of this films.

There is a flash of light, and Ben Stiller appears on a white horse, carrying a giant pink dildo for a lance. “He’d say funk that shits yo!” The camera zooms in on his shining teeth as he delivers his next line. “It’s doesn’t have to end like this! It never had to even in the first place. Haver hope my friends. Mine best friends. What choice will make? To fall without hoping, or to live strong? To reckon the storms, or sit on your ass? To sex hot moms, or to jernk it into socks? Follow me! To victor! To glory! To fight with the end of days and laugh at it like the ass’s shit it is!”

******

The horses lie on the ground, dead. The alien mothership lies in pieces. Stiller - Sweet Bro - sits against the barely breathing body of his precious T-rex. “Seen, my friends?” He breathes heavily, a shard of spaceship larger than him lodged in his torso. “You can always fight the storm. Nothing’s ever too bad to give up.”

Blood cascades out of his spasming body, showering Hella Jeff, Geromy, and the T-rex tribe with more blood than could possibly be contained within a human body. Dave steps in front of the screen, pointing a hose at the audience and unleashes a torrent of red fluid - pig’s blood, if you know your red fluids - all over the unsuspecting crowd.

When the fleeing masses have finally made their full escape, you stand and clap slowly. “A masterpiece, as usual, Mr. Strider.”


End file.
